profile shots two months in

It's been a long time since I posted and not much has been happening with my teeth. I have been a lot naughtier with my diet nowadays though. I remember when I started, I was really strict to porridge and soft foods and what not. But these days, I eat whatever I want... including a daily intake of ferrero rochers for comfort (yes, even though those annoying little hazelnut bits unfailingly find their ways to get stuck somewhere and leave me the pleasure of the "extraction game" which is basically a tongue-wrestle riot in my mouth for the next half hour or so).

My teeth have been severely disobedient! They haven't really been moving as fast as I'd like them to! The last time I went to get my wire adjustment, I asked the ortho about their progress and it was the same "very slightly" answer. Sigh. And what their stubborn disobedience has resulted in was the frequency of my appointments being lengthened to every 4 weeks instead of every 3 weeks. :( I think once I get that last bracket in though, I will revert back to the 3-weekly visits. I would really like to finish this ASAP!

Here's the progress of the naughty little buggers

Soooo slooooooowwwwly. Come on friends! You can do it faster!

I can't quite see much of a difference to be honest... other than that the bottom few incisors and my premolars on the bottom left seem to be straightening out a little. I can't wait to put a bracket on my last little bottom incisor though. I feel so sad for it... as though it has been discriminated against. Doesn't it look like it's sinking into depression? I need to ask my ortho to help it out soon. Maybe I shall write my ortho an email today about his plans for my poor little friend.

Here are some other closer progress photos...

I guess things are straightening out... except my poor little left-out incisor who's retreating out of loneliness. :(
We will get you out of there to be reunited with everyone else soon, lovely!

Maybe it's accentuated by the lighting, but my teeth look a lot more messed up at the start.
Come on, friends, we can do it!

I can't wait to see the end of this. After ten years of debating, I'm glad I finally started.

As you can see in the photos the healing of my mole excision has been progressing alright. The one of my nose has been doing well, but the one on my cheek is still a little reddish and looks like it's developing into a little crater.. :( It's quite saddening, but I'm just keeping up with the care-routine of using Vitamin E oil and seeing how it goes. Apparently it may fill up over the weeks. Will just see the progress and pray for the best. No turning back any way.

Progress on my marathon training has been.... non-existant. I haven't been running at all. I kinda have less than 3 months to train now and I don't know why but I honestly have no motivation at all. :/ I guess I already know that it's going to really hurt when it comes. I think I'd be really upset if my heart gives out though... cause that'd mean I wouldn't be able to complete my braces and surgery. Drat it. Okay, I really should start. I will make an effort this week.

stitches out

I got my stitches out today and the doctor said it looks like it's healing okay, though he didn't seem too surprised at how awesomely it was doing or said something that I really hoped he would...something like "Oh wow! You've been so disciplined with the care of your stitches I've never seen healing going that well before and you're definitely not going to see a scar", or anything I had idealistically thought in my head. He kinda said "it looks alright. It's a bit red because of the stitches, but that will go away". No smile, nothing. That kinda scared me a little.

I guess I have been very worried about my stitches. I think I freaked out sometime earlier this week when I dug around my prescription bag of cottons swabs, saline and ointment when I stumbled across some reading material that I vaguely remember the nurse stuffing in there. Thing is, when I read it, it specifically said not to touch the wound within 24 hours of the surgery! :(( But during the pre-surgery after-care briefing, the nurse also told me to clean it out first thing in the morning when I got up! (Which was about 12 hours or so. :() I was so sad and afraid that this is going to really leave an ugly scar. :( It's amazing how much reading a little bit of conflicting instructional stuff can really change things!

But I guess I can't quite do anything much else now. I did request for a scar cream that might help reduce the scarring and my doctor prescribed something that I'm to put on at night... as I pray that the Lord will be kind and help my skin heal up well whilst I do my part to ensure that I have a healthy diet and be disciplined with my ointments and creams and supplements.

I'm glad that I'm almost through this part of my journey though.
Looking forward to a good recovery period so that I can go visiting over CNY without any patches on my face. :)

On other notes, here's food I've been eating... I cooked/made some of them. :)

Fish soup without the salty soup. :D 

Egg white omelette with chicken & fresh diced tomatoes.
Served with Japanese sesame dressing.

I usually prefer the crusty bread type of olive bread, but I had to give in to the softer foccacia version for now.
Simply can't resist olives. :D

Smoked salmon spread and mint on olive foccacia.
In small squares, of course. :)

Angel food cake. It was a little too sweet though.
Tasted a little like a soft meringue. ^^

A cute wrap that I couldn't eat. My househelper had packed these for my other siblings.
The sticker was so cute though that I couldn't resist taking a shot of it. :)

Oatmeal squares in soymilk and freshly sliced peach. Delish!

weekend ramblings and more food

Breakfast today: Egg white scramble with tuna and parmesan.
Protein + Omega 3 + Calcium! Great skinfood!
And Yes, I'm eating more! SO MUCH more. :)

So I got out of the house today...went to work actually. More interestingly still, was that my customer was in SENTOSA. Sunny sunny Sentosa. Argh. I did, however, did a lot of prevention stuff to try to keep out of the sun. I wore a hat. A big black floppy hat. I looked pretty French for the day. And yes, I got weird stares. But hey, it was serving to protect me from the rays.

My stitches have been itching all day though! I'm getting a little worried cause I don't know if it's normal that stitches should itch...or whether it might be signs of an infection. Or maybe it was the sun rays. :( I need to pray harder!

My customer gave me a very concerned face today and asked me mid-work-discussion "Are you okay? You lost a lot of weight." and I just told him that I got braces and that I'm training for a marathon. He didn't look too convinced by my answer though. Maybe he thinks I'm sick... I hope that doesn't affect our business project! :/ I think that question worried my mum a bit (as she came on the business meeting with me as the product technician so she heard the question being asked) because she was constantly asking me whether I was hungry throughout the day after the meeting. =_= I'm proud to say that I've now surpassed my 1000 calorie days and now am back up to 1200. I think the box of Hello Pandas did me in today....but they were SO delicious. <3

I have been feeling very tired very often nowadays though. Apparently I also look like I haven't been sleeping very well for a while. I guess I've been having a lot of dreams recently so I haven't been sleeping too well... It used to be a lot worse a few months ago, but after I stopped eating after 5pm it became a lot better. It was a big sacrifice because it means that I don't go for dinner dates or events anymore. Maybe I should try stopping at 4 now. :/

It's going to be while before I go out for my morning walk/runs now that I have to take care of my stitches... I'm prolly going to start going to the gym at nights now for the next two to three weeks to try to get some of my lower body muscles moving... the marathon is in less than 140 days!

Also, I REALLY want to cook this:

Doesn't it look delicious?!
It's a Sicilian Cauliflower & Black Olive Gratin

It's soft too! And I LOVE olives! The recipe is here. Can't wait to try it!
I'm slowly discovering that there are actually TONS of delicious soft things that people with braces can eat! Just need to be a little creative. :)

Man, if I didn't have a day job I think I would spend all day cleaning, cooking and organizing. Sounds a bit Martha Stewart-ish. :) But honestly, that'd be my dream days. Just staying home planning meals, getting things organized, doing art...maybe having some kids over to get some art therapy done in my big art room. And have some organizing project discussions... 

keeping scars away.

After cleaning.
I look like I have two little crosses.

Just cleaned my stitches for the first time and feeling a little bit grossed out by the bits of blood. They hurt a little bit when I cleaned them and that frightened me! I thought I had opened the wound! My stitches look like little crosses on my face now which is quite cute I guess. There is a bit of a pinch in the stitches though which I'm just going to assume is normal for stitches. I shall just continue praying over them for good healing, and look forward to getting them out next week.

I suppose I'm just glad that this part of my journey is almost over. I pray that if there be any memories of this procedure, that'd it'd only be in my heart and mind - and not on my face.

I've been reading quite a bit on the aftercare of stitches (also known as "sutures"), as well as the nutritional needs to ensure minimal scarring on my face from them. From laymen sites to that of the advise of plastic surgeons, this is what I have gathered so far in order to help this heal well:

Obviously, I'm not a doctor, so if you're here trying to look for what's best for you, here's just bits and pieces I've got from all sorts of places in the web of knowledge that is accessible to us. But the best person to ask is still your professionally-trained doctor. :)

SURFACE CARE

1. Consider a skin adhesive instead of stitches as they have much lower chances of scarring 
• Oh why didn't I read this earlier?! :( 
• Apparently they only work on areas which don't move as much though (so cheeks and joint areas are probably not feasible). But I guess it would have been worth considering this option at the start before the surgery.
• There is the option of removing the stitches then using this adhesive, but I'll check in with my doctor next week.
2. Ensure that area is well cleaned as directed by your doctor (mine is use water, air dry, clean with saline, then put a layer of the prescribed ointment) and don't aggravate the area with unnecessary tension to the skin.



The little plasters I got from Guardian.
I snipped off the ends so they'll be easier
to remove and not bother
the stitches too much later.

• Yep, all done. And because I have one on my cheek, I'm going to not talk as much as possible! Brushing is such a pain though! I wish I didn't have to!
3. Make sure you put antibiotic ointment on to keep infections away, as well as to prevent a heavy scab forming that would result in a bad scar.
4. Cover the stitches with a bandage as this will keep the area moist and protected which will encourage healing. 
• During my pre-surgery after-care brief yesterday, the nurse told me that covering it doesn't matter, but it says differently through quite a few sites that I've read, and I think I'd rather be safe than sorry.
• I bought the smallest rectangular plasters I could find at Guardian and snipped off the ends to about 2mm on either side so that I could remove them easily without disturbing my skin too much.
5. Avoid the sun as much as possible! Apparently this is one of the worst things for scars! 



Gotta get me one of these boxes
for after the stitches are out.

• I'm SO glad I took the rest of the week off. I'm going to stay indoors like a good girl. No sun for me! I'm even keeping the blinds closed. ^^
6. Arrange to remove your stitches between 5-7 days. Apparently, anymore than that would result in an ugly "track scar". And the best is as close to 5 days as possible. 
• I'm removing mine on Day 6. It's a blessing as the nurse at the appointment counter yesterday said that my doctor was not available on Day 7 & 8 and I wasn't comfortable with keeping it in till day 11 (after the weekend). Hopefully that will be a good day!
7. After stitches are removed and the area is completely healed 
1. Apply vitamin E and gently massage the area to encourage the breakdown and formation of collagen to fill the stitch area.
2. Consider a silicone sheet to cover the area to minimize scarring.

NUTRITION
After a surgical excision - which basically is punching a piece of your flesh out which leaves a cavity and sewing it together - nutrition is really important in order to fill up that cavity again. Specifically, collagen is important to fill up that cavity to bring the skin back to its original glory.

What is collagen?

Collagen is classified as part of our body's connective tissue...Our bones and skin are composed primarily from connective tissue, but it's found everywhere, in virtually all of our organs. It's the job of connective tissue to hold things together, to protect other tissue, and provide our body with support. Our tendons and ligaments are all connective tissue structures. Collagen is one type of fiber found within connective tissue.

Here are some foods that have been recommended.

From HubPages.

1. Water
• Okay, not quite "foods" but it's important to stay hydrated so your cells stay happy.
2. Egg Whites (yay!) for their protein and proline (some amino acid) content.
3. Berries (double yay!) for their antioxidant properties and something called "anthocyanidins" that they have.
4. Vitamin C. This is apparently VERY important as Vitamin C helps the body produce collagen. Several sites even suggest going beyond the daily recommended intake of Vitamin C to help. Fruits such as oranges, strawberries and grapefruit and vegetables including broccoli, sweet potatoes, and red bell peppers are good sources of Vitamin C!
• I've bought myself a carton of orange juice that I intend to drink at least twice a day.
• I've also gotten myself a pack of Redoxon's All-day Defence Vitamin C + Zinc tablets which are 8-hour slow-release pills (you can find them at pretty much any pharmacy in Singapore). Hopefully they will keep my Vitamin C levels up throughout the day! :)
5. Green Tea & Garlic
• Apparently reduces collagen damage. 
6. Tomatoes - for the lycophene that's good for you.
7. Omega-3 Foods



Slow release capsules.
Hopefully to help me be high
on Vitamin C throughout the day!

• Cold water fish, such as salmon, sardines, cod, mackerel, and tuna are rich in Omega-3 fatty acids that keep skin soft and supple. Flax seed oil works well too.
8. Amino Acid boosting Foods (amino acids are the building blocks of collagen):
1. Threonine: foods such as lentils, peanuts, eggs, milk, pork, beef and chicken. If you prefer a vegetarian diet, you can also get threonine from soybeans, chickpeas, hummus, snap beans and asparagus...
2. Proline:  Gelatin, soy, milk, cheese, egg whites, beef and cabbage. (Vitamin C works with Proline to promote collagen production)
3. Lysine: Animal foods high in protein are very good sources of lysine. Good choices include meats and poultry, such as red meat, pork and chicken. Other good sources include dairy products, particularly Parmesan cheese, fish such as cod and sardines and eggs.
9. Protein Rich Foods
• Protein-rich food can help produce elastin and collagen in your body. Proteins are essential to build, strengthen and repair tissues and help build collagen and elastin. Good sources of animal protein include organ meats, poultry, turkey, eggs and dairy products. Good sources of plant protein include nuts and seeds, beans and legumes, and soy products. Whole grains, such as quinoa, also supply some protein to your diet.
10. Here's another really good and descriptive article on more foods that are good for you and your skin.

Looks like my daily diet has been pretty good for my skin. Along with my Flaxseed Oil and Vitamin C supplements, my body should be well supported to experience a good healing process. Inspired by my research, this afternoon I decided to make myself a skin-friendly meal! I attempted this by blending the remaining of my blanched broccoli, two tomatoes and some leftover chicken porridge together, and garnished it with Japanese seaweed flakes...as so:

Step One: Put blanched broccoli and fresh raw tomatoes into blender. 

Step Two:
Add chicken porridge from stove.

Step Three:
Blend into disgusting looking mess.
Step Four:
Bring to boil on stove to psychologically make it less disgusting, and slightly more palatable.
Step Five:
Garnish and serve.

Blending the meal (because I simply because can't chew on the broccoli nor the tomatoes due to the braces and now that my right cheek is pretty much immobile...or should not be moved) made me feel a bit like a baby, or like it was prep for jaw surgery meals. It tasted tomato-y which was nice, but the mouthfeel was a bit choppy which would probably have been a little gross to most people, but just knowing how good it was for me was enough for me to devour it! I even had two bowls! Thank you, delicious skin-rejuvenating-friendly meal! 

Looks a little like pumpkin soup. :D
Help me heal well please, little bowl of healthy blended porridge!

-------------------------------------------------
References
For Surface Maintenance
Dr Mayfields Six Steps to Minimizing Surgical Scars (plastic surgeon's POV. Probably the best article!)
How to Prevent Scarring from Stitches - LiveStrong
How to Reduce Scars from Stiches - eHow
The Best Scar Treatments - Fitness Magazine
Scar Removal Q&A: What is the Absolute Longest Stitches should stay in the face - Realself.com
On Nutrition for Collagen
Can you tell me which foods promote collagen? - WH Foods
How to naturally boost collagen - HowStuffWorks
Foods that Increase Collagen and Elastin - LiveStrong
Foods to Increase Collagen Production in your skin - HubPages

real courageous thoughts

So after a week of agonizing, and a full day of incessant debating in my head - even to the very last minute before the surgery - I've done it. Two local anesthetic jabs, two 3mm punch cuts, and two stitches later, I've gotten two of my moles on my face excised.

The procedure wasn't that bad, actually. What hurt was the two jabs of anesthetic which felt a little like ant bites. I guess what didn't help was that I had watched bits and pieces of the procedure on youtube (queasy stomach and all) before the surgery, so I could pretty much imagine everything that was happening at every point - from the anesthetic, to the punch, to the cut, to the stitching. What was gross was that I could feel the tugging at my skin as the stitches were put in... I closed my eyes tight throughout the procedure and just kept praying. It didn't really hurt, but my heart was beating so fast and I had so much fear in me that I literally had to keep saying in my mind "be brave, be brave, BE BRAVE".

I guess it was the psychological process that was really grueling. It was as if my world was going to fall apart with getting my moles removed. I don't know why it affected me so much. Perhaps it was because I had grown used to them, and they were somewhat a part of me. Yes, even though they have bothered me through the years. I guess I was afraid that by changing the way I looked in some small way, it would change how people saw me, it would change part of my past - maybe to the point of erasing or marring it, and change part of my being itself. What a scary thought to think.

Thank God for my daddy. That even though he felt that I really didn't need to do this, and that I was beautiful anyway, after I sent the picture of me and my little post-surgery plaster patches (just to prepare my family before I got home and they saw my patches), my dad just chose to love me and told me "Smile! You look beautiful!" Daddies somehow always know what to say. <3

Ugly little post-surgery plasters.
Please heal well skin!
I"m counting on you!

In the middle of the day, a couple of hours before the surgery, I got a call from my doctor to clear some of my fears on the scarring and my mum heard the conversation (I was driving, so I had to communicate with the doctor over the speaker). I asked the doctor about the extent of the scar and how big the line scar would be - of which he said it'd be about a 4mm line scar which should fade over time - and we just talked about more scarring stuff. At the end of the conversation, my mum calmly, but obviously concerned, asked me if I was really willing to trade a mole for a scar. That was a tough question, but I guess something in me was certain that it was something that I wanted to do. But it was really her second question (statement) that bothered me.

"I hope you don't think he broke up with you because of your looks."

And that question stung at me throughout the procedure.

Amidst the praying, the fighting the fears, and the trying to encourage courage in my spirit in that half hour, I somehow also found the brain space to question it. I debated in my mind about this whole losing weight, mole removal, jaw surgery process, and my motivations to them. It's scary - this phase of my life. It's as if I want to change so much and break out of something that I've felt trapped in for a long time. I don't quite know how to explain it. I know I'm not quite there yet - at breakthrough point - but I also know that I will get there.

I guess my direct answer to her was a resounding, "No." Maybe a tiny part of me might question the totality of that answer (because I suppose somehow girls can be a little more sentimental with such issues in life), but at the same time, I'm also pretty certain that this is not about some post-traumatic reaction. I know the reasons why it happened - which ironically  has a lot to do with a lack of courage as well except it was on both our parts - so I 'm certain that this is not about that. 

This is about me.

It's about me choosing not being fearful of life and life's decisions anymore.

It's about me choosing to "man-up" and face-up to the stronger, more courageous, and visionary person that I know I am inside. 

It's about me overcoming all odds, especially the enemy of myself and my fears, to become everything that I was created to be. Anything less would be a lie.

It's about courage.

In a week my stitches will be removed, and everyday for the next 6 months I will pray that this will all heal well. In a week and a half, I will have my first adjustment for my braces. In 5 months, my first marathon. In a year, if my teeth are obedient, my jaw surgery. And in a year beyond that... goodness knows where life will bring me two years from now. There's only so much one can plan.

But somewhere in between, I will find my breakthrough.

pre-surgery jitters

It's going to be a lot simpler than this.
But just as freaky!

I'm getting pre-surgery jitters and watching youtube videos on line is not helping. The first one I watched on "mole excision surgery" almost made me throw up.

Especially that the moles are on my face, I'm getting really frightened! I want to do this, and yet suddenly it feels like the risks are suddenly so high! :( And somehow, I feel like I should change my doctor. I went to do some research on their research interests and it turns out that my doctor doesn't specialize in dermatology or laser surgery, but his interests are in psoriasis. There are 3 other doctors who specialise in dermatology and laser surgery...maybe I should go to them.

I think I'm going to change surgical doctor. If the moles were anywhere else, fine. But the fact that they are on my face, I think it's okay to be a little more conservative about my choice of doctor. I think I will die if I was left with line scars or worse, craters in my face. :(

God, help!

-----------------
Post-post edit: 
So I called up the National Skin Centre and spoke to the nurse on the helpline and apparently this procedure is so normal and basic that I needn't worry. I guess I'm just a lot more anxious about how this will be... also cause I've been well-freaked-out by the youtube videos.

WARNING!
This video is totally in-your-face with the punching out of the flesh, the digging around inside, the blood and the needles and sewing! Watch at your own risk of your stomach feeling really queasy after! I personally can't watch it the whole way through!

I can't seem to embed it properly, but you can watch the mole excision surgery video here.

Omgoodness, I feel like puking again. Can't believe that's going to happen to my face tomorrow. What freaked me out the most was how deep the incision went! It looked SO deep! (Apparently it has to go all the way into the fatty tissue to ensure that it's completely out and that it doesn't reappear) But all the flesh, the blood, the sewing.... Oh no, I'm freaking out again.

No. Must be strong. Be courageous!

dealing with change

So the receptionist at my ortho's said that I needn't come down cause apparently the teeth only hurt for a few days after the wire's in, then you don't quite feel it, so it's apparently normal. I'm pretty sure she's wrong though cause I remember it feeling much looser after one of my vigorous interdental scrubs, but I'm going to find out in two weeks when I go for my appointment. To some extent, I hope she's right as well...cause if she's wrong, that means my treatment of having braces on would be extended by two or three weeks (NNooOoOoooo...). I seriously intend to make this experience the most efficient as possible. :)

I woke up immensely stressed and sad at the same time this morning. I think it's cause I've been taking a couple of profile pictures (which has been making me a bit self-conscious) and have been freaking out a little bit about my little mole surgery on Thursday and debating with myself whether I was making the right decision. This anxiousness has reminded me a lot of the dental surgery I had ten years ago where I got four of my wisdom teeth and two canines extracted (cause my jaw was just too small to accommodate all of them!) One of my canines was sticking out of the top of my gum and it bothered me. I sought a lot of advice from friends and family before deciding to get it out, and I remember the variety of responses I got. A lot of my friends said it looked okay, some even said it was cute, and there were people who even said that I shouldn't take it out because it was a "lucky tooth" and all sorts of stuff like that. Thing is, it bothered me. Alot.

No, these are not my teeth.
It's just a graphic to show
what my lucky tooth
looked like - as in the
top "before" pic.

I still remember the strange stares I got from people who were distracted by my "lucky tooth" when I first met them. I felt uncomfortable, and knew I wasn't appreciating its existence in my life, and yet I debated with myself whether it was a bad decision to remove the tooth simply because of what other people thought...as if removing it would curse me with bad luck for the rest of my life or something. Even though I don't quite believe in luck! I did the surgery in the end. And looking back, I'm glad I went with getting it extracted. I honestly think it would have just damaged me more if I had kept it in, and I'm thankful for that decision that I made even though I worried so much about it. This time, I suppose I'm just going through the same process again, except it's about my moles. And the barrage of responses like "but they look sexy", "they're cute!" or "they give you character" or "I didn't even know you had moles!" But they bother me.

For the past two days, as I inch closer to my surgery day, I've caught myself on several occasions, standing in front of a mirror and putting my two fingers on my moles, or covering them up on photos, to try to visualize how I'd look without them. It's frightening, really - change. I've come to the conclusion that it's change that we fear...and we get anxious because of the risk involved and the fear of a bad outcome - therefore conjuring so many cognitive dissonance-sy responses from people who are trying to encourage the status quo and keep life constant (which includes keeping the appearance of people around them constant as much as possible). But I suppose I've been bothered enough by my moles to want to do it for myself now, regardless of my fear of change... and even though I fear so much that they will leave ugly scars on my face and no one will love me forever and I will die cold and alone with a cat who looked like it understood me at some point but was really with me for the food and the occasional reassuring loving caresses.

But change must happen for progress to be ignited into existence. And surely progress will build me, and not tear me down. It's kind of like making decisions that force me to face my fears. Just like this whole jaw surgery process. And that's exactly what this whole blog is about - courage.

Two days to surgery...and I will walk out of the hospital with two little stitches on my face. Going to be praying hard that the Lord will give the surgeon good hands, skill, and concentration on that day.

But here's to change and progress and confidence and everything beautiful in between...like life.

Anyway, here's stuff I ate today. Starting with breakfast!  :)

 

This is how my family tempts me to eat. With soft fluffy pancakes! ^^ <3
None of that golden syrup for me though! Carcinogens!

This is how I ate mine. :) Yes, with yesterday's leftover half-banana. Delish!

 And this was lunch of fish congee...

It's not difficult to tell which is mine and which is my sister's. :D

My appetite is improving though. :) Probably cause of that loose wire... but hey, I think I just might take advantage of this period and get myself some cheese puffs. #^_^# MAYBE.

it will be a good year

Rosti for Breakfast!

The ulcers in my mouth have become painful affairs and too often nowadays I have been waking up starving. I was surprised that after my caloric overload yesterday that today was by far the worst hunger pangs I've felt. Perhaps it has been an accumulation from the past few months, but yesterday was the first time I felt dizzy every time I got up from a chair or from squatting down.

From now, I'm planning to make sure that I hit at least 1000 calories a day no matter how much time it takes me. I went out for some more groceries today and got myself some soup, raspberries (for the antioxidants :)) and quinoa (which I have yet to research on cooking ideas for.). I might just cook the quinoa with cheese to make it a little like a Mac&Cheese dish... but we'll see. I still have a ton of instant porridges - one of which I plan to eat for breakfast tomorrow.

More food stocked. :)

Other than that, the dental wax has really helped in keeping the nagging ulcers under control. I've also developed the habit of soaking my teeth in Listerine after I brush. No, I've never had that habit... and even if I had ever tried, I don't think I would ever have voluntarily made it one. Listerine tastes SO nasty! I don't know how people can do it everyday! But I'm doing it to keep the braces clean... I think I'd hate more to get cavities or tooth erosion of some sort. The Listerine really make the ulcers sting though, but I guess that's what antiseptic naturally does.

I can't believe it's already 2013. In 9 days I'm going to go through a minor surgery on my face to finally do something that I've wanted to in a long time. No, it's not a nose job, and I already have double eyelids so I'm not getting that done either. I'm finally going to go remove two little moles on my face that have been bothering me forever.

2013 is evidently a year of change and I plan to make it the best year of wonderful liberating changes yet! It will be a year I will just take the plunge into all these decisions that I've put aside out of fear of some sort. It will be a year where I finally find the courage in me to face them point blank, regardless of what others might say or think (of course without crossing the boundaries of my values and good morals). I'm just going to do things for me.

It's a public holiday today, and I've decided to stay home, watch a couple of movies, and later take some time to set some more solid goals and plans for the year ahead. Already I'm on my way to some - including braces and planning for jaw surgery, removing the moles, getting back to my happy weight, and running a full marathon this year. This will be a good year.