jaw surgery date: 3rd January 2014

Special delivery for Surgeonman: Two sets of moulds of my upper and lower teeth. :)
I wish he could have unwrapped them to show me what they looked like!

This week, I visited the hospital that I will be staying at for my jaw surgery in January and got all the administrative work settled. I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but I'll say it again: "I can't believe this is happening!" And only slightly over a month to go!

During the meeting with Surgeonman this week, I was introduced to another dental consultant on my case and it was so pleasant to know that he's a consultant (and not an assistant-something which my Surgeon told me may be the level of person on my operating team if all the doctors take leave for the period my surgery is scheduled). I don't know if he's a senior consultant, but his name was pretty high up next to Surgeonman's name on the dental organizational chart, so I'm assuming I'm in pretty safe hands. Thank you God for providing some of the best people for my surgery. :)

Consultman (I'm getting into a habit of giving everyone names now. Haha.) was pretty nice in answering my questions and he seemed to be really relaxed about talking about my surgery, so I suppose it's not going to be too complicated. He did ask me "Do you have any concerns?" and I couldn't help but tell him that I'm just worried that people would say things like "You used to be prettier" after the whole ordeal.

I suppose as the surgery date draws closer, I've been thinking about all the possible scenarios that could play out after the op is over. And one of the worst scenarios I could think of was people negatively judging my appearance. Perhaps it's vanity that I shouldn't even consider, but it somehow just conjures some really scary emotions to think that people might make a comment like that for a decision you had made and invested so much in, and have no way to turn back and change.

Consultman was really sweet though cause he reassured me with a simple, "Don't worry, you have nice features. You'll definitely be prettier."And then he went off to do something else... maybe tutting in his head about how shallow this patient probably is. :( Still, even though I didn't make this decision to embark on a jaw surgery journey with a single iota of aesthetic intentions, I suppose the girlish part of me was thankful. It seems like all Surgeonman, Orthoman and Consultman seem to be pretty confident about this surgery. I'm really thankful for all these men God has provided to see me through this journey. I don't think I could have wished for any better. Even though random concerns sometimes arise in my anxious heart and mind, I'm actually really looking forward to the surgery in January now.

I think I'm going to put a countdown clock in my sidebar now that I know the date of my surgery. I will have to spend the next month tying down all the work that has to be settled before the surgery. That, and preparing those whom I love to embrace this season in my life and support me through. I don't want to lose anyone to preconceived judgemental mindsets simply because of a lack of understanding of my intentions or of my heart.

40 days to the surgery.

40 - the number of breakthrough.
How coincidental.

Surgical hooks in. And it didn't hurt!

So after a whole hour of taking moulds and taking out wires and putting all sorts of metal in, I've finally gotten the surgical hooks and all sorts of metal stuff(ed) in my mouth.

It really wasn't as big a deal as I thought it was (or as it sounded). And what it really looks like is very much like what Orthoman did before I left for Hawaii - i.e. binding all my teeth together with a pretty white wire. :) I love it that it's white - it kinda makes me feel like my teeth are nice and sparkly...in a self-delusional "your teeth are actually really all gross now cause you haven't been brushing hard(er) enough after you put your braces on, but hey the white wire might be a little distraction to all that crap" kinda way. I do, however, feel like I have a lot more metal in my mouth...well, I suppose that's because of all the extra little hooks now. Not to mention that the little warning that Orthoman gave me about probably getting a couple of ulcers (because my mouth isn't used to the new hooks), wasn't happy news. Still, I'm glad this part of the journey is over, and now I'm in the hands of my surgeon for the next couple of months.

It was a pretty sad feeling knowing that I won't be seeing Orthoman for a while... it's been such a joy having him as my orthodontist. My mother kinda freaked out a bit when I told her I'm going to put my surgical hooks in today. But after the whole ordeal, when she asked me, "So, how was it?" I couldn't help but say, "I guess it helps that my dentist is cute." Haha. XD But honestly, Orthoman is kinda cute... I guess cause I find him funny....in a hilariously awkward sort of way. I almost burst out laughing in the middle of my appointment today as he was awkwardly finding something to do whilst holding the mould steady on my teeth as the clay(?) set. He ended up standing up, looking away, and walking in place or something. It was SUPER awkward. But even more so, it was hilarious! I think I might have been grinning like an idiot, but I didn't burst out laughing...stuff like that is pretty hard to do with a big-ass mould of metal and moulding clay plus his fingers in my mouth. (Gosh, that sounded wrong.) Still, he's 5 stars for awkward funnies. I recommend him anytime. (If you're doing your teeth in Singapore, and are looking for a nice awkward friendly dentist, look him up: Dr Wee @ Alfred Cheng's Orthodontic Clinic. Sweets for anyone who can make him smile/laugh. He really needs to relax and smile more. :D He may be married though, so no seducing Orthoman! I need him to be happy and secure in his job! (At least till this whole jaw surgery journey for me is over! Haha..selfish request. #^_^# But PLEASE! I can't afford to lose him! I can't have another ortho halfway through! I  have stranger anxiety!) Here's his ortho blog filled with all sorts of random teethy stuff.

Alrighty, after this, it'd be the hospital visit on Friday (along with blood samples and blood donations and all sorts of interesting things that Surgeonman has roughly briefed me about), and then an appointment or two with Surgeonman, Christmas, the New Year, then the surgery.

Time is moving so fast.

Surgical hooks day. Be brave.

So today's the day I get my surgical hooks installed. I'm a little nervous about it and it seems like things are going a little too fast for me to keep up psychologically. My feelings about the op nowadays swing from "I can't wait for this to be over" to "Am I really doing this?" And yet I'm still going through the motions.

My op is now scheduled for the 3rd/4th of Jan 2014. As the day draws nearer, I'm beginning to worry about a billion things - from finances to risks to social rejection to questioning my motives for getting this done. It's the jitters, most definitely.

A friend asked me yesterday whether I was scared. And I replied "Yes, but don't tell anyone. It's a secret." And I suppose that was the most honest answer I could muster. It's true - I like to play it strong and not let anyone know when I'm afraid. But I'm thankful that at least one friend knows now.

This Friday is apparently "hospital admission day" where I go to the hospital and get all my vitals checked. My surgeon has also advised me to get some blood donated to the blood bank because he thinks I might be slightly anaemic. :/

On the upside, I guess I'm going to have a wonderful Christmas and next year will really start with a bang... Or at least with a big milestone in life. I'm thinking that I had better spend the end of this year preparing my body for a speedy recovery by getting some exercise in.

Okay, one step at a time. Surgical hooks first.