Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Attempts at piecing things together.

Ive just gotten back from three weeks away in Japan on business. It was supposed to be a work and holiday thing, but I suppose I'm not very good at mixing the two.

Having been struggling with the business, and my health, we thought it was good time to get out and do something to change the business model. To hopefully open new roads and change the winds a little.

We pretty much travelled through almost half of Japan - starting with Tokyo and ending down south in Kagoshima. The scenery changed so much from the towering heights of skyscrapers and bright lights of Tokyo to the farms of Kagoshima... we saw a lot. And ate a lot. :)

But in my mind, I missed England a lot. It's weird. I don't know why I feel like I have this affinity with London. I just love so much about it. The accent, the chivalry, the fruits, the food, the culture... perhaps I just have not seen the worser parts of it. Perhaps I should ask my friends in England what they dislike most about their culture and maybe I'd have a more temperate disposition toward it.

Has anyone ever wondered about the person you are?
I ask myself a lot of questions about that...and somehow I feel like I don't really know myself. Is it weird to think that I need to discover myself backward in order to move forward?

It's a little noisy in my mind now. I should try to piece things together before I write again.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

WTA Finals and thoughts

Today was the first time that I have attended a professional tennis match live. I was technically there on business, but there were many thoughts I had. The game reminded me of the fencing matches I saw at the Southeast Asian Games in Singapore - the same ones I sat in feeling lost and confused about life a year or two ago. I remember sitting in the benches and texting my fencing Coach about what I should do about life...  I'll have to go back to that chat and do a little reading.

Many thoughts tonight.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Letting go of paper memories and dreams

This minimalism project has become so much of a heart issue...and so much earlier than I thought it would.

I spent this past week on books and papers.

It was a grueling task trying to get through all the memories and plans that I had stashed away over these years. After many days of going through hundreds of papers documenting many seasons of my life... decluttering meant that I had to choose what to keep and what to throw away - to decide which parts of my dreams I was willing to give up, and which I still wanted to keep.

I eventually gave up on a half-done psychology paper that I wrote and meant to finish for publishing with a professor in the States...but it has been put away so long, it was just time to let go. I also decided to give away all my textbooks for my Early Childhood course, most of the business notes from university days, and a large file documenting the set up of a club some 10 years ago which has grown into something beyond what I expected.

I suppose, if anything, this process has reinforced the notion that I need to now focus more on the present, and what I want to keep for the future. And to do that, I need to let go of the past.

Easier said than done though.

To be honest, I don't think I'm quite done yet - because I still held on to many "un-finished business". From my project for rural entrepreneurship for India, to a couple of old marketable ideas, to my family tree project, to the most random of books in fashion and embroidery... there still is a whole list of "interests" and "projects" that I chose to keep around. I guess it wasn't so easy to let things go as easily and thoroughly as I really should (as according to the "rules" of Marie Kondo).

It's already the start of the new week now and I'm hoping this process has brought some lasting peace and focus that I so need.