Swelling: I don't know.
Other weirdness: Too tired to think if anything weird is happening.Mood: Really stressed and feeling really low
It hit today, the post-surgery woes.
And I just need to get it out.
- I feel really ugly now
- I feel like I now look as if I have an overbite (instead of my pre-surgery underbite).
- I keep wondering if something went wrong with the surgery and whether my surgeon made a wrong call to not do the genioplasty. (though I really debate about this too because inside, I really trust Surgeonman a lot)
- With my 3-6 mm impaction, my face/head looks too small for my body
- My shortened face makes me feel like some sort of imp
- I really dislike it how there looks like there's so much fat on my face now because of my cheeks sticking out
- My smaller face/head makes my body look a lot bigger and fatter
- Because my body suddenly feels bigger/fatter, I'm afraid to put on weight, and in fact feel like I need to lose a lot of weight to balance it out
- I think it's because I'm afraid to put on weight that I'm having problems eating now
- I'm afraid my lack of eating is going to affect my healing
- I miss my sharper chin
- My chin looks really fat
- My face shape looks weird and octogonal
- I miss my oval shaped face, even if it were a little long
- I don't know why, but I now have blackheads
- It looks as if my nose is a lot wider and a little more upturned. :(
- I've lost a lot of hair and they are still dropping, I am now afraid to wash/tie my hair
- I'm really affected by a comment a woman whom I don't know made on FB that she thought I used to be gorgeous and "wished I appreciated what I had." :((((
- I'm thinking I've lost my beauty that I might have had before the surgery
- I'm really wondering whether I really look more Chinese. No offense to my ancestral culture, but it really isn't a compliment to me to look more Chinese. I've always been used to be mistaken to be Eurasian. : :(
- I'm starting to be afraid to go out
- I just want to sleep and not do anything
- I feel like I don't know myself anymore
- I am so busy and stressed by work issues, I don't have time to deal with all this right now
- My best friends are overseas and I'm feeling really alone
- I have friends here, but I think they're really too busy and I don't think I want to bother them with my issues
I couldn't take it anymore and I told him "I need to manage my stress levels, I am losing so much hair" and I showed him where my hairline has been affected (it's so ugly)... and all he said was "it will grow back". :(((
I just want to crawl into a box today.
1/2 bowl Banana, Soymilk and almond blend with cinnamon
1 bowl Seaweed and egg soup
150mls 100% Pure Apple Juice
1 cup Redoxon
Too stressed by work to eat anything else.
High point of the day
Went for a walk to the library and got my hands on the Primal Blueprint book. :)
Low point of the day
Psychological struggles with the darker side of the surgery. Stress.