Day 32: Weird Observations and Profile shots.

Pain Level: 0 - Or maybe I'm just getting used to my weird left jaw joint.

Swelling: I can't quite tell whether it's going up or down anymore.

Sleep last night: Pretty good. I think I slept a full 8 hours from 12am - 8am.
Other weirdness:  Stray threads and all sorts of weird stuff today.

Mood: Looking forward to the future.

Today was a day of weird observations.

For one, I've noticed some random stray threads drifting to the front of my teeth as I brush now. I know Surgeonman told me my stitches would drop off by themselves, but this was pretty scary. I was afraid of accidentally pulling on it and loosening something...like some part of my jaw that would drop out or something.

This was taken when
I was really swollen
around Day 3 or 4.
Can you see that
little wound on my lip?
It was from the op,
and it's now a little
crater. :(

I've also been feeling this rough patch behind my bottom incisors. At first, I thought it was some gross plaque of some sort building up (because it's a pretty difficult spot to reach with my toothbrush with my bands on). After doing a little research, I found out it's probably a (the?) spicuole - the walls of the tooth socket (Description can be found here.)  It freaked me out a bit to know that I could feel a TOOTH SOCKET. I mean, how much must the gums behind my teeth have receded for me to actually be able to feel the walls of the socket that used to hold it? Isn't that a freaky thought? It's apparently common and it's supposed to smooth out though.

On other notes, I think one of the surgeons/medical staff took a little nick off my skin at the corner of my lip and it has now become a little crater. :( It's not visible from afar, but I can definitely see the depression in my bathroom lights and it's really sad. I'm going to try to use Vitamin E to massage it daily now and hope it will naturally "fill up" again. :(

I've also developed some sort of rash today just below the sides of my nostrils. They're not the itchy sort of rashes...just a little red and bumpy. This was superbly random. I have absolutely no idea what's the cause of them. The only added thing to my diet today has been the Hi-Omega 3 tablet...which I doubt would cause rashes. I'm guessing I must have touched something and accidentally touched my face.

Other than that, I did a really brave thing today...I actually uploaded my pre and post profile shots onto the amazing Jaw Surgery FB group because I went into a little one-month post-op panic that I might have an overbite now (instead of my underbite that I was trying to fix). This was it:

Posted this in the FB Jaw Surgery group for support and feedback.
The top is my profile from before, and the bottom is at it is now.
I'm still pretty swollen and I was so worried that I might have an overbite now.

Everyone in the FB group thought it looked great though (which was a big surprise). I guess I might be overly critical of myself. Someone in the group made a comment though that I look really different. I think I've come to terms with the fact (based on the feedback of the different groups of people that I have met) that there are just some people who are going to think that I look really different, and others who think I look the same. Just as there are some days I think there hasn't been much of a change, and others which I dread to look in the mirror and spend an hour or so covering up the bottom half of my face, wishing it'd look different. Two of them thought I could consider genioplasty...which I have been wondering if the right call was made to have not done it. But I doubt I'd do it. If it's not necessary medically, why go through all of this again right?

I'm looking forward to seeing Surgeonman and Orthoman soon. Everytime I see them, I feel like the world's a better place and that this process is going much better than my nerves and insecurities sometimes skew them to be.

On other notes, I did do my research on my German classes, and Petite Modeling (even though at 5'3 I don't even make the "Petite" 5'4 cut), and Pilates classes. I've found my German classes, as well as Pilates which will begin in August - that's in a week or so, so I have time to prepare myself for them, as well as Ballet which will start in Sept (so that I will be somewhat stronger by then). I'll be getting back to fencing in a year... and maybe at the end of next year, I'll complete my first marathon.

Although all this is happening in the midst of really complicated and stressful circumstances at work, taking time to actually research things to invest into myself... I suddenly feel like I'm getting my life back a little bit at a time. :)

Food Report

Breakfast

• 1/2 bowl Black Sesame Paste (Come on hair! Let's do this!)
• Supplements: 1 CalcD tablet, 1 Hi-Omega 3 tablet, 1 cup Redoxon (Vitamin C + Zinc)
  As you can see, I just wanted to be done with all my supplements for the day

Lunch

• 1 bowl pulled-pork porridge (obviously can't get enough of this. :) Proteins!)

Dinner (super big dinner today!)

• 1 large cup of fresh watermelon juice
• 1 bowl of pulled pork porridge with 4 tsp of curry stirred in. :) (Finished all of it. No leftovers!)
• 1 cup Banana Almond Soy smoothie with ALOT of Nutella and 2 tsp Coconut Oil
• Supplements: 1 CalcD tablet, 1 Hi-Omega 3 tablet

High point of the day
Investing time in researching things to get back to things I've "always wanted to do". :)
Low point of the day
No real low points today.