Whole30 Journey: Dark Days?

Lunch today:
Grilled chicken with some baked sweet potatoes with a side of
fresh raspberries, mangoes and salad leaves. :)

W30 Day 9
Can't believe I could be at Day 20 if I didn't have to keep restarting. >_>

How I'm feeling: 
Sticky from a walk (and random aerobic exercise in the park) earlier this evening... and sleepless cause I just ate some homemade sweet potato crisps, a couple of mango cubes, and a bunch of cashews.

W30 Dark Days?
I'm not too sure, but I think I've gone down a dark road since my two overnighters at the office this past week...that, coupled with the comments on weight loss and seeing the numbers at my recent health check... something has changed.

As much as I'm still treasuring the discipline and all that has come from doing the W30, somehow the comments about my weight loss has shifted something in my psyche to be very much conscious about that indirect resultant part of this journey - which was not my initial intent. Anxiousness about work has also thrown me off and I'm back to sleeping at 2am in the morning. :( This is not good. I have to somehow reset this. My focus was about health, regaining control over different areas of my life, and just...getting life back on a happy road again. :/ Okay, I'm going to focus on getting back into momentum again this week.

Food wise I've still been pretty disciplined though.
I went back to Parkway this week and picked up two more Larabars. Bought some seaweed, asparagus and restocked on my organic mulberries (that I now really love to snack on) :). I just need to get into the momentum of three square meals. It seems tough to 1) not miss meals at work, and 2) not to snack.

But I'm going to try.

I've decided that I'm also going to try to chill a little more, and try to "get a life" more.
Things at work are still crazy and terrifying, but I'm choosing to prioritize things that ALSO matter to me. Things like family, my relationships with my friends, my relationship with God, trying to get more integrated into church-life, practicing my German and prepping myself for other languages I want to pick up... stuff like that.

This W30 process has made me start thinking about my "ideal life" vs life as it is now.... as well as my "ideal self" vs who I am right now. I guess physically I'm on the right path... but emotionally and intellectually, I seem to have shelved a lot of things for my work. There were/are a lot of things that matter to me - climate change, animal welfare, making a difference in the lives of others, learning languages, living simply and efficiently (if that doesn't sound too weird). I guess part of me is starting to realize that I have to care for myself too.

Life is not all about work and scary life things.
I need to remember that - and focus on that.

Okay, it's past 1 am. Time to hit the shower and hopefully catch some shut eye.
It's Monday tomorrow. It's the start of a new week.

God, please give me the grace, favour, and wisdom to weather this season through.