Saturday, December 20, 2014

Day 184: 6 months!

Pain Level: 0 - No pain, just still numb in my lower left lip and chin. 
Swelling: I'd like to think I'm still a bit swollen, but it may be just fats.
Sleep last night: I haven't been sleeping too well... bad working and life habits I think.
Other weirdness: When I wash my teeth with mouthwash and leave it in for a few seconds, my jaws feel like dentures floating in a glass. It's REALLY weird. Oh, and chewing is still weird. I somehow feel like my teeth are a bit spastic and I'm not sure where to fit them when crushing things in my mouth.
Mood: Tired

It's really early in the morning and I'm still awake. I had a really rough week as I'm trying to get life back on track. Tis' one of those days where I wonder what I am doing with my life and what needs to be done. 

It's weird, really, that even after 6 months post-surgery, when people tell me "you look really different", I don't know how to react. There's a certain sense of fear or apprehension in receiving such comments - even if they were meant to be complimentary. Even in telling the story, I always make sure to emphasize that I didn't quite have a choice - given it was told to me that I had only two options 1) either to do the surgery now, or 2) wait ten years when I would probably have worn out jaw hinges, arthritis and slower bone growth. The inability to react well is weird though. Perhaps it's an insecurity of some sort.

Yesterday, I stumbled across a Postsecret and it scared the heck out of me for a bit. 

This was it:

I know this particular PostSecret was probably made for a person who had some sort of plastic surgery, but I couldn't help but wonder if some of the people whom I speak to might think the same of me (and not say it).

But hey, there are bigger issues in life to think about aren't there?

I've finally gotten back in touch with my fencing coach, took my gear out and gotten it washed. I'm back to fencing next week! Hopefully, no one will hit my face (please don't!). I'm going to get back to running again, and Pilates. I got to get back some discipline and tenacity in my life.

Fencing next week! I can't wait!


  1. Girl, I'm sure your face looks fabulous and that those people are just trying to nice :) My first thought about that postsecret thing was plastic surgery too. You're a queen! Don't worry too much about what everyone else thinks!

    1. Thanks for the encouragement Isabel. I guess it's a journey of self-discovery and confidence. :) Hope you're doing great too.

  2. Don't worry about what other people think about your face. It's not their face :-). Try to practice healthy sleep habits if possible.

    1. :) Thanks Sean. Crazy workload makes healthy sleeping habits close to impossible...but it takes a little discipline...which I'm going to try to get back!

  3. I hope you and/or your boss can help prevent long-term burnout by having reasonable expectations about your workload capacity :-).

    1. :) That's pretty tough when I work for my parents. :D But it's okay, I think I have to manage my own expectations of myself first. Thanks for the care though. :)