Sunday, August 23, 2015

Back and moving into new phases.

So I'm finally back.

It has been about 14 months since the surgery. My left bottom lip and chin are still numb and so is my right cheek (which the doctor says is possibly because of scar-tissue :(). I've pretty much resigned to the possibility that I may never gain full feeling and comfort in these areas again... and that my ex (and only) boyfriend will now possibly forever be the best perceived kisser in my life... *cue tragic music* Unless, of course, my next (and hopefully final) boyfriend can catch my heart on a much deeper level. Haha.

Why am I sharing these things again?

Oh right, the lack of feelings.

Tbh, it's annoying. It's annoying on the days that I'd appreciate full-feeling at corporate events when they have these little breaks for networking and I'm starving and I need to eat something. It's irritating because I need all my energies to try to overcome my introverted-self and navigate small talk and would appreciate not having to budget some part of my consciousness worrying about whether a crumb from the cake or the little springroll I ate is still on my chin or some random part of my face. It's irritating on the days where I wake up and I think the world is bright and beautiful and I think I look like a million bucks, but there's actually stuff on my face I can't feel. It's depressing on those days.

But then again, it's not that big a deal compared to why I needed to do it. I can't imagine having to deal with pain and other more annoying things. So I shall choose to be thankful. But still pray that the feelings come back some time - hopefully before I get married. That will be useful. Please, God?

These days, life is back to normal, I've put back on ALL the weight (and then some) that I lost post-surgery on the liquid syringe diet phase... though I'm working on getting them back off.

From here on, I'm going to be writing more about life in general. I may have a few days where I complain about my annoying retainers (which are still tight and irritating...though I have been very disciplined with them), and maybe a smattering of posts about the tightness in my cheek, but the whole jaw surgery was just one small part of my journey in life.

Hope everyone's well.

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