training the brain

OMG, so much more to go...

A few months ago, I decided that my brain needed some work, and I signed up for an FTA certification class. Now that I'm finally back from the States, it's time to take the exam (in T minus 7 hours). As much as I am thankful that I have the opportunity to study something and gain a little more knowledge of the world... I think I'm way past the age of staying up late at night to squish as much into my brain as possible for the exam in the morning (or so my body seems to have been reminding me through my struggles for the past few hours).

You would think that after having been through something like 25 years of my life in the crazy-competitive Singaporean education system, I should have mastered the art of time management, studying in chunks, and simply not leaving all this to the dreaded "exam cram" session.

Nope. 
Seven hours, and six more chapters to go.

And the pain of my braces constantly digging into this humungous mouth ulcer I have now isn't helping at all. :(

Come on brain, work with me.
I really want to do well for this exam!

heart issues

It's been almost a year since the official breakup. In fact, it's just two weeks to the one year mark.

It's interesting how a heart works, or doesn't work, with one's brain. Frequent infighting in one body really isn't too healthy.

Yesterday my dad encouraged me to stop dreaming. He literally asked me, "Why do you want to dream on? When will it stop?" And even though I told him adamantly, "I'm not dreaming on. I'm over it. I'm through." I also said, "But it's tough because everything here triggers memories." And part of me wishes that the ex and I weren't such troopers to visit pretty much everywhere around the island so that I would have other memories I could think of.

But I suppose, and I think I've been told several times over now, that part of this process of learning is to realize that I'm worth more than how I'd been treated. And how dishonorable and telling the drama of the end was - that we couldn't survive through the flames of a simple misunderstanding. Or at least how unforgiving and unnecessarily harsh he was. And to think it was all over a petty misunderstanding. Surely he knew how unreasonable, hurtful, and unkind he was.

And yet, I have chosen to love anyway. And still choose the better - to still think the best of him.
But I have also been reminded that I have to love myself too.

"Stop dreaming."
I have never really believed in the concept of giving up one's dreams.

But I suppose when one dream seems to be eating up all else -where it's no longer a dream that encourages or pushes you to higher heights - it's more like a long drawn hopeful nightmare...prolonged emotional torture that really should be relinquished in exchange for freedom.

It's time to stop now, Ariela.
Be courageous.
Dream new dreams.

ready for jaw surgery!

We are ready! ^^

When people asked me what I looked forward to most at home after spending three months in the States, my answer was a simple "I can't wait to see Orthoman".

I couldn't wait to see him because my teeth had been tied up for the past three months and locked into position by a white wire he twisted around all my braces to ensure my teeth didn't move over my time in the States. The extra wire made brushing an immense torture! Thank God that I didn't have much drama (like the dreaded possibility of broken brackets) which I really freaked out over before I left because it would mean having to have some strange scary person in the States look into my mouth to fix it *stranger anxiety *. Still, I just couldn't wait to find out if my teeth moved any way and how much my time away affected my jaw surgery schedule.

Just to give you an idea of what the white wire looked like, here's a shot:

I took this in Honolulu on my journey back after 3 months away and no Orthoman time.
You can barely see it, but there is a white wire twisted all around my upper and lower braces.

My estimated jaw surgery date was supposed to be scheduled sometime March next year. And knowing I'd have to factor in a 3 - 6 month recovery period where I would be locked down here in Singapore, I just couldn't wait to see him so that I could plan my year ahead.

When I finally saw him just hours after I touched down, he said the magic words "You are pretty much ready for surgery". Well, actually, I think he said something more along the lines of "Are you ready for surgery? I believe we only need one more visit to install the surgical hooks and I can send you to the surgeon. And you need not wait a month. Even next week is fine." Yes, typical Orthoman-deadpan and all. Seriously, I wish Orthoman would just lighten up. But I suppose the sunshine and rainbows coming out of my eyes and ears when I heard the good news might have helped a little. :)

Right now, I'm just waiting to see if the new casts he took of my teeth fit properly and whether just one more visit would really do, then it is time to schedule a surgery! I really didn't expect this process to go so quickly! It has only been nine months of braces (no bands and all), and my good obedient teeth are ready! I'm excited! :D

Thank you my lovely obedient teeth!
xoxo