Somehow, I've been debating a lot about the jaw surgery this past week. Perhaps it's because of a couple of posts that I've been reading about people having complications in their surgeries and how much it's costing them. A lot about surgery is about risk and how much you're willing to risk for a result.
The risks are pretty scary. I mean, yeah, there's the risk of death with anesthetics and stuff, but honestly, it's the in betweens - like loss of sensation in your face, numbness, lifelong pain, the need for more surgery (which would mean a lot more costs) - that are really frightening for me. I just can't imagine going through this 30K surgery, 6 months of healing up, to come down to having to possibly do more corrective surgeries, or not feel my face...forever.
Is the pain of arthritis in my jaw in my old age worth the risks now?
Sure, I've read through quite a few blogs that pretty much swear that they don't regret the surgery at all. Then again, most of them are those who didn't go through complications, and came out looking a lot better and happier and more confident than they were before the surgery. Otherwise, they were the ones who took any post-surgery challenges on as a learning experience. I respect a lot of them, and I suppose it's one way that people find their passions in life (like how when some people lose family to cancer they become great awareness campaigners), but I don't know what that would feel like if I were them.
I've also a few on my blogroll who, because of the post-surgery complications (and pain) they've gone through, have made it their life mission to make sure no one else goes through the same experience. And worse, I've also read of two or three jaw-surgery bloggers who displayed signs of desperation and depression in their post-surgery writing, who eventually closed their blog.
Maybe it's because my mother was asking me about it. She literally came to me and said, "Why do you want to do this? I think you're pretty enough." I also had another conversation when I was in Hawaii with a guy whom I shared about my jaw surgery and how I was doing it for medical reasons - to which he replied, "But it's also aesthetic. Which is okay." And how bothered I was at his assumption that regardless of what I said, I was in it for the aesthetics. It made me feel kinda sad.
|Oh underbite, are you worth it?|
Also nasty ulcer,
would you please go away soon? :(
Perhaps this is something like pre-wedding jitters - where one goes through a time of absolute fear because you finally realize you're about to do something really big and possibly life-changing. :(