Day 247: Gosh! 8 months!

Days since op: 247. 0_o"
Pain Level: 0 Nothing much. Sometimes the braces get caught in my cheek, but that's about it.

Swelling: I'm definitely still swollen on one cheek because of how the bone fits now. Maybe it'd get better when the braces are off.

Sleep last night: I need discipline! And I need to love my bed and sleep more!
Other weirdness: Still numb in my left lower lip and chin. Great. I wonder if it'd ever go away. I also still can't chew properly! Grrr.

Mood: It's Sunday! I'm going to buy a labeller and label everything I can get my hands on!

So this coming week is possibly my last (or second last visit) to Orthoman's and I'm a little nervous because my braces might be coming off too. I have been waiting for this for a while... but have recently been a little OCD about my profile and how my chin looks now. I'm guessing that this is just part of the process - where you know you're coming to the end of the journey (well, almost), and you just start freaking out a bit - kinda like a runner's wall. I know I did this surgery purely out of functional reasons, but I've been recently concerned about how it has affected the aesthetics... which apparently has been in a good way. But I guess I'm still human and have been freaking out about my profile and whether we made a mistake not having done the genio at the surgery.

I wasn't sure how quite to deal with the questions in my head so I decided to post some pics on the Jaw Surgery FB group (which has been amazing throughout this season of my life), to get some "professional" feedback (simply because a lot of people in the group have or have been freaked out about such stuff and many of them are very well read in this field of JS. It's a safe place and HIGHLY recommended for anyone thinking of, or are about to, or have had, jaw surgery.

Do I look like I need the genio done to even out my face?

I got some comments saying that I should consider it, and most saying that I look fine. Somehow I just can't help but wonder if I now look like I have a slight overbite (instead of my previous underbite). I think I'll just wait for the braces to come off, and the right swell to go down a bit before I decide.

This past few weeks have mainly been about celebrating CNY and all the other crazies that happen in this season. I've hardly been getting sleep and have had a lot of my mind. I'm thinking of taking a trip down to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, for a conference this coming weekend to try to clear my mind a little. Let's call it a "thinking trip". I think it'd help some.

Unwell.

I am unwell.

I woke up today with the chills, aches, a bad runny nose, and a terrible fever. The fever was so high that washing my hands gave me the chills, and putting on my jeans in the morning felt as if I had retrieved them from having been left outside on a cold winter's day. And mind you, that this is tropical Singapore where our temperatures probably average at about 28 degrees Celcius throughout the year.

I have never been unwell so often in my life.

Today, possibly for the first time in my life, I popped two Panadols. It was a shocking experience for me because I usually avoid self-medicating like the plague. I hate meds and hate the thought that I cannot have full control over my body and have to rely on a pellet of crushed compacted concocted powders from goodness knows where, to heal my body. Maybe it's OCD, but I hate meds.

But today, I had to pop them because of all the work I have to accomplish today. And surprisingly, after huddling up in my down-feather comforter for an hour and shivering whilst I slept, I woke up without the chills by the end of the hour. THANK GOD. I still have a mild fever, aches, and a runny nose, but I CAN WORK. Yay!

Being unwell has really gotten me thinking about my life though and how my health has gone to the dogs - what with this high stress, sedentary life. Even with having gone back to fencing, it's not enough to get me back in shape. I've been putting on weight in fact! :(

The last thing I want to be is a Debbie Downer when it comes to life!
There's is so much in life to live for. And so much that life has to offer!

Quick update.

I haven't been in the mood to write for a while. But I should update.

Life in short:

• Has been really busy at work
• Braces come off in two months
• I missed my therapy because it was going to be at $300 an hour. I couldn't contact them and a nasty lady from the clinic who probably should lose her job, or sign herself up for a therapy session, called me up to vent her anger on me. Yay, depression.
• Too much has been happening
• I think I care too much about my staff, and I really should just not care so much about people anymore. It takes too much time and energy.
• I haven't been sleeping well. I think it's all the million and one things I've been thinking about.

Also...

These hurt like CRAP.

I wake up feeling like my jaws have been pushed together all night and feel like they've been wired shut in the morning. It's not fun.