Day 109: Learning to love myself more.

Pain Level: 1 - A little bump of a bone in my upper palate hurts sometimes, but otherwise things are alright.

Swelling: Right cheek still tight. Same part of lip and chin still numb.

Sleep last night: Not too good. Been having trouble sleeping. Not sure why.
Other weirdness: I stutter sometimes as the jaw goes a bit wonky. Surgeonman says it's normal and it takes time to adjust.

Mood: A little tired.

Something has been affecting my energy levels and even Surgeonman was a little concerned about that. I suppose with my dropping hair and really bad rashes, I've begun to be increasingly concerned about my health. 

Chopped off something like 5 inches!
Had to do something to stop
the dropping!

This week, I popped by the polyclinic to check if my rashes was some issue with my immune system - because everything seems to be showing up only on the left side of my body. Two hours later (with a lot of waiting in between), the doctor's diagnosis was that my rashes and dry skin and scalp (which is apparently is what is causing the hairloss) were probably due to stress than a problem with my immune system or my stylist's guess of hormonal fluctuations. Surgeonman seemed to similarly guess the same - that it might be from stress due to the major changes in how I look and adapting to that.  I didn't think stress was that big an issue, but I suppose with all that's been happening, they might be right. And it doesn't help that I haven't been getting much exercise and that my diet hasn't been very good for me. I have yet to sign up for the Pilates classes that I've been wanting to do for a while, but I somehow feel like too much is going on in life right now for me to take anymore on.

I cleared a couple of questions with Surgeonman today too... including:

• Q: When can I get my plates out?A: Preferably not. It's not necessary. If anything, maybe one year later.
• Q: I think I have a cavity cause one tooth really hurts when I brush.A: <was referred to an in-house dentist who took a little xray and showed no cavity> Might be a sensitive tooth. Consider swapping to a toothpaste for sensitive teeth.
• Q: What's the bump on my upper palate that hurts sometimes? It feels like a bone.A: Turned out to be some hook thing that's connected to some muscles. Surgeonman says that it's normal because the upper jaw was moved up, but the hook wasn't, so it just needs time to adapt. 
• Q: I've been having weird rashes. Does the surgery affect the hormones or the immune system?A: No. It's probably from stress. Think about what might be the cause of it. (Surgeonman was really nice about it saying they have the resources and stuff... but I don't think I want to go to a therapist. Issues might shift to old memories and I don't want to go there.)

The doctor at the polyclinic has referred me to the National Skin Centre for them to take a closer look at my rashes (which are honestly really gross with little bubbles). My appointment with them is scheduled for December... I hope I'll still have some hair come December. Please stop dropping! Oh, did I also mention that I decided to chop my locks to try to reduce the amount of hair that falls? Hasn't quite worked because I think the same number of strands are dropping....except that it doesn't look as scary as before because they are slightly shorter. 

Sorry, little roti prata. :/

About the memory lapses - things are a little better now. At least I can shower properly without weird "second-takes". The latest victim to my memory lapses was a piece of roti prata that I forgot on the stove though. :/ 

The plan is for me to try to take things a bit easier... I probably have to tell my sister and staff that I am under doctor's orders to breathe easier. I'm going to start a habit of taking walks in the mornings. Maybe that will help some. That, and to pray that the situation with my factory improves that would help to take some stress of life for a bit. 

Gotta remember that I'm still healing!