It's really early in the morning and I find myself drafting my powerpoint slides for charting the Vision 2020 for the company. There seems to be so many things on my mind and I feel like I just need to get it all out.
The company is in a very interesting transition now where we are making decisions whether to move premises. There are so many things that are on my mind - Whether to rent or to purchase, how is the team going to change and whether there are changes to the business model that need to be made... As my whole life starts to revolve around work - and all the organizations that I've begun to participate in in order to support it - I wonder if I've short-changed myself in terms of my personal life which seems to be going nowhere because I haven't made much time for it. From spending time with my family, friends, and even plans for the future.. it seems I've neglected the "more important" things in life.
One of my goals this year was to be more open to people and make more friends. I guess I've kinda been doing that...except it has been mainly for work. It's weird, but I feel like I've not laugh-laughed for a long time.
I guess I need to be a little kinder to myself as a lot of changes have kinda happened in the past two years - one of which was the surgery which was a pretty big deal. It's a little shocking to think that it's already been four months! Time really passes. I guess I'm still adjusting... as some people around me are (already in this past week, I've re-acquainted with two groups of business associates who seemed a little uncomfortable with the fact that I look different). But I totally understand that it's probably a little weird for them and I just need to give them that space and time to readjust and "reacquaint" with me. Takes a lot of patience and firmness in my own self-worth though. Guess it's a process all jaw-surgery patients need to go through. I can't imagine how much worse it must be for people who look a lot more drastically different than my case. I really feel for them.
I'm looking forward to this week ahead.
Monday and Tuesday are going to be "charting days" where I hope that my management team will be able to make some important decisions...and I should really finish my grad school applications. If all goes well, I should be off to Myanmar for the weekend, and hopefully back with some clarity with the road ahead.
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