Monday, March 25, 2013

finding Ariela within

I have never written any emotional posts here as I have other places to write on such facets of my well-being, but I thought to write a post here as it affects some of the goals that I've made for the year.

Perhaps it's because that time of the month is coming for me, but I haven't been doing too well emotionally these days. Just a few weeks ago, I had hit somewhat of an emotional pit and I had to make some very painful decisions for me to literally find the courage and strength to face each day. Thank God for friends whom He sends my way - literally at the most crucial of times.

These days, I have been debating whether to go to a discipleship training school in Hawaii for a couple of months - just to get my relationship with the Lord back in order, and perhaps find some healing to move in a more empowered way in life. Thing is, the course would span over 5 months, is some 35 hours by plane from home, and would cost me a bomb to go. Not to mention that it would also mean that I wouldn't be able to make any orthodontic visits throughout those 5 months...which would mean a 5-month extension of my treatment time. :(

I haven't been sleeping well either, in fact I've been plagued with insomnia, which honestly isn't helping. Sleeping just four hours a day for prolonged periods can't be too healthy. I've been secretly battling a couple of bouts of the sickies too (secretly, cause being in the position I'm in, I can't quite tell people I'm feeling a little unwell so often these days), and it has been taking a toll on me.

I'm feeling a little low today - as if a lot of things just seem to be falling out of place.

Ariela, you gotta find your courage and fight this.
Be brave.

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