Saturday, August 02, 2014

Day 43: What sugar BAD.

Pain Level: 0 - Not that I can really remember.
Swelling: Patience...
Sleep last night: Still not too good... maybe 2 am? Woke up for work at 9am though.
Other weirdness: Still ravenous this evening.
Mood: Tired and a bit frustrated that I ate SO much.

Tonight I went to a party and it was an interesting experience. It was my first time meeting up with some people since the surgery and a lot of them hadn't seen me since. It was a big risk, but I knew I would have to get out some day. For one, I decided to go with a closer friend of mine because I was a bit nervous about meeting people again. What I remember was that she hadn't seen me since the surgery, and what I didn't expect was that totally couldn't recognize me. :/ Later in the evening, I even had a guy whom I knew from the sports union in my university (because I was a fencer) ask me about my reasons for doing the surgery... and went on to talk about veneers and plastic surgery. =_= 

I left the party wondering if I was happy with now looking quite different. I didn't quite have an answer... guess I'm still a work in progress and that this stage of acceptance is still ongoing.

I totally believe what the Primal Living says about carbs and sugars now because I went nuts after my Nutella mix this evening... I can't believe all that I ate tonight. I came home thinking "I'm hungry" and battled with the "I think I might just shower and sleep... either that, or eat". And "eat" won out... TEN TIMES over. I was so hungry, just kept going. And half the things I didn't even really like! Nor was it pleasurable to eat! :( I honestly don't think that I would have stopped if I didn't just say "No, enough." I can't believe just a couple of weeks ago I was freaking out about my lack of food, and now I'm freaking out about how ravenous I am. It's ridiculous.

I have a retreat on the weekend and I needed to prepare for it, but I haven't packed and I'm so tired. :/ I don't know if it's stress, or that time of the month, or what else it is that's going on with me, but I can't wait to get over this phase!

Food Report
  • 1 egg salad sandwich (white bread. :()
  • Supplements: HiOmega3, CalcD, Vitamin B, Redoxon+Zinc, Floron Iron Tablet
  • 2 scrambled eggs with Almond Milk with a tomato, a few bits of onion and carrots
Dinner (Went berserk after the Nutella!! :((()
  • 2 Tbspn of Nutella with Black Sesame and Almond Milk
  • One Char Siew Pau, 1 Steamed Prawn Dumpling
    (Really didn't have to have this. I could have stopped here.)
  • Half a cup of Quinoa with 3 slices of smoked salmon
    (The salmon was good, but the Quinoa went EVERYWHERE in my mouth. I usually would just stop because I would panick about the stitches, but I didn't today. :()
  • 4 chicken drumsticks
    (Considering I just tore bits and pieces and stuffed them through the gap in my teeth and swallowed the pieces whole, this wasn't very appetizing to eat. The spices were nice, and the fats were nice, but it generally was pushing the limits for me.)
  • Half a yam puff, Half a siew mai, 2 pieces of rice noodle dim sum
    (There were hard bits. This tasted so bad. :()
  • Supplements: CalcD, Hi-Omega3


  1. Good to hear you are totally pain free now. I hope you give yourself permission to brush people off or ignore them when they judge you.

    I would really recommend the writing of Sohee Lee. Her blog and even Facebook posts are very elucidating and refreshing.

    It's great your appetite is back and you are healing well.

    1. Thanks Sean. Yep, I guess it's about self-confidence or something like that. Thanks for the recc link. Will check it out.