Day 62: Bands and Hooks are off!

Pain Level: 1 - Was pretty bad at Orthoman's when he was doing a lot of work on my teeth, but the pain has now dissipated down to just the little electrocutey zaps on my numb lip area and a little aching in the back of my jaws.

Swelling: Apparently going down by the day according to my staff.

Sleep last night: Went to bed REALLY tired.

Other weirdness: I think most of my stitches have dropped out though I think some are still in hiding somewhere. The other day, one of my stitches dropped out in the middle of an important meeting I was at. I figured I couldn't imagine holding it in my mouth for 2 hours, so I swallowed it. Yay fibre. =_=

Mood: Contemplative.

So I finally got to see Orthoman yesterday (after missing the appointment last Wednesday) and it made me a really happy girl. :)

At a little over 2 months post-op, my bands are off! And now all I need to focus on now is

1. Getting my jaws to open wider by exercising and stretching my jaw muscles
2. Getting my nerves in my chin and lip to heal back into full operational ability

All bands, surgical hooks
 and thick wires off. :)

The appointment with Orthoman was a pretty painful one though as there was a lot of stretching and pulling. What he basically did was take out the wires that he had banded in pre-surgery, as well as removed the surgical hooks. I never knew how sensitive my chin, lips and some of my teeth were till he had to do so much work on them! I could somehow feel everything so much more! And once, he pressed down on something that really hurt, I couldn't help but wince and made a pained sound. I guess Orthoman heard me, and he whispered a gentle "sorry", and that totally kept me alright for the rest of the process. It's amazing how a gentle apology and indication of genuine care totally carried me through the whole process - pain and all. I'm such a softie :). But I'm totally thankful for Orthoman. :) <3

So my bands, wire holds, and surgical hooks are off...and I think he also changed out my main holding wires (the main ones that bend around the teeth). No more snapping or digging into my cheeks and creating ulcers! Yay! I guess this is a good place to be.

On the softer, more emotional side of things, these days I've still been struggling with getting back on track in life.

I somehow seem to have lost my sense of drive and determination regarding work and life in general. I've been headed into the office, but with a lack of passion. I've been going to meetings, but with a lack of follow up. I've been talking to people, but with a lack of commitment. I have been trying to get some exercise in, and to regulate my sleep patterns, but with a lack of discipline. It's pretty frustrating. Part of me wonders if I'm carrying a low-grade depression that I refuse to acknowledge. It's really easy for others to judge and say "just force yourself to do this and that", but it's really much harder (or at least it feels like it) when you're on this side. And I guess it's especially knowing that there will be people who will judge and say nasty things, that people who struggle choose not to express or tell people about their depression - which really isn't healthy.

Today, I'm home from work to focus and try to overcome this. Perhaps it's just a matter of cleaning out my environment and just getting things in my scheduler and being able to see into the next few months ahead.

Okay post-surgery depression, I'm going to overcome you!

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Oh, and regarding the alumni gathering. It went alright. I was pretty brave that I even dared to take pictures. Even a selfie with a friend. :) As so:

We got some hats at the photobooth and just had to take a photo. :)

It amazed me how many people knew about my surgery and asked me how I was. :) Thank God people have transitioned through with me! I am so thankful! And thank God for the reach of Facebook. I've also recently changed my FB profile pic to a new post-op one too...I suppose I'm starting to accept the changes. And based on the fact that people actually like the photo, I've been encouraged that this post-op transition is going to be alright. :) I am humbled and thankful.